It Takes A lot to Laugh, It Takes a Train to Cry

Still Alive!

Yesterday....ah, t'was an interesting day. We woke up around nine because breakfast was over at ten, our train was at 12:30, and we wanted to adventure a bit before we had to leave for the station. A few days beforehand we had been on a cannabis walk and our tour guide brought us past a shop (closed at the time) where he said two women lived, worked, and sold organic pot and homeopathic remedies...we had to meet them. They were us.

Easier said than done. We thought we remembered where it was but Amsterdam is freaking confusing. All of the streets looked a little familiar, all of the street names looked kind of the same. Was it next to this canal or that canal? What was the name of the cross street? Ramsstraat? Rumstraat? Remstraat? Yeah, and then it started to rain. Oh! And we had all of our luggage with us. Miracle of miracles, we finally freaking found it. Rumstraat and Priencingracht, in case you were wondering. Totally worth it, the woman was super nice and everything there looked like my future...

Lost my recorder somewhere along the way =(. No chance of finding it, no time. So it was off to central station! We speed walked there in the rain with luggage, backpacks, and a giant Vincent Van Gough poster that we immediately regretted buying. Stopped to use the bathroom ( one Euro, please), stopped at a homeopathic remedy shop called Erica because we had some time to spare, stopped to get one last pastry from our favorite little pastry shop... I think you know where this is headed.

Yep! We walked up to platform 13b juuuuuust in time to see our train pull away...well, what we thought was our train. That's right, it was more complex than that. Of course it was! Well, more annoying and stupid than complex.

After thinking that we had just barely missed our 12:35 train, I figured I should probably go and talk to someone about it. Someone with authority. So I found the nearest men in train uniforms and approached them with the tickets. "Excuse me, our tickets say the departure time for our train to Paris is at 12:35, but our train just pulled away and it's only 12:26..."Impossible! Trains never leave a second early or late. Let me see your ticket, you must be wrong because the trains never are." I gave him the ticket. "Hmm, it does say 12:35 here. It must be a mistake from where it was printed because the trains are never early or late." I was like, I freaking get it, your precious trains are perfect and punctual and flawless and beautiful. I'm sure your bedroom is filled with posters of trains and there's a miniature train that circles around your bed as you sleep. You live and breathe trains. The trains can do no wrong. Got it. Check. "Uh, so what do I do now...?" They told me I'd probably have to buy a new ticket but to go downstairs to the international ticket office and basically plead my case.

So I did. When I got there they were on #142 and I was #205. An hour later I was at a desk, close to tears at the prospect of staying in Amsterdam foooorevvver. Maybe the organic pot growing ladies needed an intern? I was at that desk for about .5 seconds before getting the shut down. "I can alter train times up to one hour before and one hour after departure time...but your train actually left at 8:30 this morning...12:35 is the arrival time in Paris. You'll have to buy new tickets." How much? 110 Euro. SONOFABITCH. Asked if there was aaaannything I could do. She said I could go up to the train manager and plead, and maybe if the universe cared, if the planets were aligned correctly, and if he was in a good mood, maybe he might let us on board. Maybe but probably not. It hardly ever happens. FUCK.

Then it was off to deliver the bad new to Audrey. Fuck bro. Really? REALLY? I know bro, I know. Let's start walking.

When it was almost time for our train we saw a couple of people in uniforms giving people directions. We went up to them and asked what the likelihood of the train manager sympathizing with us was..."Uh, I don't know. You have discount tickets, once they're gone they're gone." Then she spotted two men in suits and hats. "Those drivers are waiting for the train, you should ask them."

Well, those men should have been wearing wings and halos because they furking saved our lives! After hearing our story, giving us weird looks like really, you read the time wrong for the train you were actually supposed to be on and then you missed that train? How is dis possible? They looked at each other and laughed a little "Yes, we will take you." I think they felt sorry for us because they kept checking on us while we were there. Giving us directions for when we arrived about a million times "Remember, it's de second platform. The second. The one in the middle. You can't miss it. Just stand there and you won't miss it." We gave them the travel worries doll that I bought at the Erica homeopathic place as a thank you To Our Heroes, Merci!. They probably placed bets on how soon we would get lost.

Voila, In France! Our hostel is cute, internet but no photo plug thing so it might be awhile for the next visual update. Also, we're both convinced that we have swine flu. Everything aches! Hope all is well back home!

Love,
E and A